apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
