wat bout pragnant strippers??
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
