one two three fourrrrnication!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Randomize
