She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
