Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
