K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
