I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
