My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
where am i from again
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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