Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
