I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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