i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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