i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
