We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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