when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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