I didn't shave. On purpose
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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