He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
