member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
