I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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