so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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