Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
