Nicole vs. Life
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
