help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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