Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
