He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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