I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
