i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You've changed since you got that strap on
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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