I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
