Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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