if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
