Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
