She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Let's paint friendship bongs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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