STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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