Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
