he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
