I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I pour the whiskey from now on
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
