i permit you to call me
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's blow job season.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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