does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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