Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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