im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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