good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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