We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
