Duck Duck Cougar?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize