Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
