Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize