Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
