you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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