I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
