Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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