She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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