out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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