I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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