I've blown a few things in my day
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
