I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Randomize