Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
two words...techno handjob
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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