I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she peed on how many people?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
