this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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