he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
