im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
