I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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