you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
two words...techno handjob
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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