Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
