Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
