Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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