i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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