why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
