i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
