I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
