I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
