You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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