Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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